Teaching, Failing, Learning

I'm learning so much as a teacher. Of course I'm learning about classroom management and teaching techniques... but even more so, I'm learning a lot about myself. Wednesday was one of those days that served as a good reminder that I have SO much to learn!

The day started off poorly - waking up at 7:52 am (normally I'm almost at school by this time!). I didn't have time to wash my hair and was late to school. (Of course, my vice principal shrugged it off like it was no problem...)

But things only got worse throughout the day. My 3rd graders (grade 9 in the US) are finished with all of their exams, which means they no longer care about school... even though they still have more than a month of school left! Even several of my advanced students fail to bring a pen or pencil to class! They expect me to show movies in class. They are completely checked out... which makes teaching difficult, to say the least! There were several times on Wednesday I felt as if I was talking to a wall (it wouldn't have made much difference...).

To make matters worse, I was feeling somewhat homesick (with Thanksgiving and all approaching), exhausted (from a tiring week), and had some sparks with one of my co-teachers. Not very pleasant...

Instead of being patient, loving, and compassionate toward her... I was angry and frustrated. I felt no compassion... no love.

When I realized this, I felt a little scared. How important it is to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus! When I don't, I find myself focusing on others' faults and ignoring my own... not a good place to be...

I have never met a person I could despair of after discerning what lies in me apart from the grace of God. - Oswald Chambers

Yes, Wednesday was a good reminder of what lies in me apart from the grace of God... I'm reminded of the parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:21-35.

I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?

Hmm...

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

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I cannot love people the way God loves them. I cannot have compassion and mercy... not on my own strength. But because of the cross... because of His Spirit that lives in me... I can love, I can have joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.


I don't ever want to lose sight of the power of the cross.