A Frustrating Monday...

I'm afraid today was a frustrating day... for numerous reasons. I've never liked the whole Oh-it's-a-Monday-so-it's-going-to-be-a-terrible-day mentality... but I have to admit, I'm starting to see a pattern with my Mondays at school. My classes on Mondays are chatty and difficult to control. Since it's the first day of the week, it's the day for testing out my lesson plans (and learning what does and does NOT work). Monday seems to be the day that I find myself feeling most like a terrible teacher... but as my dear friend Sara reminded me... my worth is not based on how well my lesson plans do/don't go.

Today was not as difficult as last Monday as far as co-teachers go. We worked much better today and even though the class was still difficult to control, we worked more as a team, so it was helpful.

No, today was somewhat frustrating because I forgot how much flexibility is required at ALL times. They warned us of this at orientation... it seems that things are never really set in stone in Korea... things change at the last minute SO often... flexibility is KEY. I somewhat forgot this when my co-teacher informed me that I would be leaving school today to visit a demo teaching... and that my class schedule would be re-arranged (taking away some prep time). This would normally be somewhat manageable (and turned out okay) but... I was frustrated because of how it affected my after school class. At first, I was told that it would have to be cancelled (AGAIN), so we informed all of the students of this. Then, I found out I would be able to teach... and that I would get back from the demo teaching with 10 minutes to spare before beginning the after-school class (found out most of this about 10 minutes before we left for demo teaching). Good thing I had my lesson mostly planned. I scrambled to make copies of my worksheets and emailed the ppt. to myself before running out the door. It was slightly frustrating... but I understand that there are times when communication gets fuzzy. For the most part, my school normally does a pretty good job of informing me of when things are going to change.

I guess maybe the most disappointing thing was finding out that I probably won't be getting my own English classroom after all. Alice told me this when we were scrambling to get to the demo teaching on time. It was so disheartening... since I travel to 22 different classrooms each week, classroom management is particularly challenging. On days like today (when students are difficult to manage, seats have to be moved around, and nametags are nowhere to be found, computers may or may not work), I often find comfort knowing that next semester I'll have my own classroom with a computer that works, with desks arranged the way I want before class even begins, and with a much more convenient system for nametags. But... it doesn't sound like that's going to be happening after all. Can you believe I almost wanted to cry when I found out? So silly I guess... but I guess it's a lesson in what I should really be putting my hope in.

I continue to be incredibly challenged by feelings of incredible exhaustion in the midst of teaching, inadequacy, impatience, being unsure of what to do at the exact moment a disciplinary issue must be addressed, frustrated with uncooperative students... I'm learning a lot about discipline. I started off way too easy on my students I guess (should have known... Dr. Spivey warned us of this in Learning & Memory)! Now it's difficult to regain control. I've started being more firm, but it's just so hard to find a balance... and so difficult to be the type of teacher I'd like to be!

Yet... I still like my job and I'm still glad to be here. Difficult days are to be expected, right? I'm learning more about how incredibly necessary it is to depend upon the Holy Spirit...

I have so much to learn!