Getting to Know You... or at least trying!

So, as I may have mentioned in one of my blog posts last week, I was really excited about my lesson plans for this week! I decided to spend this week getting to know my students. So, my lesson plan was focused on learning more about the students and teaching them how to creatively express/introduce themselves. I found myself feeling incredibly inspired by the song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KadOjVl6VCc) from The King & I, "Getting To Know You... getting to know all about you!" I figured I'm definitely not an expert at getting to know my students yet, but was pretty excited about the possibility! They would be picking English names and making nametags so that I could call them by name. Oh, the visions... oh, the dreams... it was going to be a FANTASTIC lesson plan... I was even going to use the song "My Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music for my upper-level classes. They were going to re-write the song... and who knows, maybe even sing it in front of the class. lol!

I am such a dreamer! Haha...

So, Monday morning, I rushed about making copies and last minute preparations for my lesson plans. I was nervous (as I often find myself being before the first lesson of the week), but excited. What a special lesson I have in store for my classes, I thought. All of my lessons (all TWO of them) have gone really well for the most part... so I think I was feeling a little over-confident... and dreamy.

My students quickly jerked me back to reality Monday morning. It was disastrous. I planned 5 minutes for choosing English names and making nametags... it took more like 25 (and even then, some hadn't chosen names). The students didn't seem to appreciate the video clip (and I realized it was poor quality, particularly on a big screen. They were super-chatty... and barely seemed to notice I was there. Classroom control? Ha! Definitely was lacking. I gave worksheets to some of the students who finished their nametags early... and they finished the worksheets before other students had even chosen an English name. This of course, left the faster students bored and ornery. To make things worse, I had forgotten to bring my microphone and stickers (rewards for good behavior) to class. My sweet plans and visions quickly crumbled. I was frustrated and disappointed... and definitely humbled. I had done a terrible job communicating to my co-teachers what I needed from them... and I didn't give very clear direction to my students. I had a difficult time transferring what was in my head to what I wanted to see happen.

After my third class of the morning, I was spent. I waited until much later to go to lunch in effort to try to collect myself. However, I started talking with one of my co-teachers (Kim Mi Ok - her desk is right next to mine) and ended up in tears... much to my embarrassment. Crying over a lesson plan? It seemed a little ridiculous to me... but I knew it was more than that. I had spent HOURS preparing and really was HOPING to get to know some of my 700+ students. I was wanting to show my students that I care about them. Instead, I got frustrated and upset. Kim Mi Ok was a good listener and did her best to encourage me.

I thought I had things under control until I went to lunch and Kim Yeong Chae (she's basically been like a mom to me here) asked me, Why did you wait to come to lunch, Holly? I was the last one to lunch and most everyone was already finished eating. She sat with me, though... and I started crying again! She was incredibly gentle and understanding though. She reminded me that when she first started teaching, she cried a lot because it was frustrating. She told me that Korean students are difficult to teach. She also reminded me that it was Monday morning and that students are normally not very well-behaved on Monday mornings. I'm so thankful to work with so many kind, nurturing, understanding women!

Thankfully, I had a break after lunch, so I had some time to pray and re-group. I adjusted my lesson plans significantly and things went much better after lunch.

Over all, I think the whole experience was good - the crying and all. I think it built bridges with some of my co-teachers and I noticed that they were especially helpful with discipline in the classroom. Also, I'm noticing that word certainly travels QUICKLY at Cheongryang Middle School among the teachers... at least in regards to the foreign teacher. I had one teacher email me Monday night because she had heard that I cried at school. It was thoughtful of her to send the email. The following morning, I attended the Korean Bible Study/Prayer time with some of the other Christian teachers and they prayed for me because they knew I had a rough Monday. It was an incredible blessing to have their love and support... and I totally see God working through it. (I'll have to share more about the Morning Bible Study another time - a completely different story!)

So, I'm thankful. I'm learning a lot. My lessons are going better for the most part. I'm still using "My Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music (when the computer works in the classroom). I'm still learning about the students - through their lists of favorite things. I'm not learning names (gave up on the nametags idea at least for the moment). I'm learning "hangman" is a great way to start class and gain the attention of all of the students. I'm learning that I really enjoy the 7th graders and their sweet innocence more than a lot of my 9th grade classes. I'm learning more and more what it means to love my students. Sometimes it is really difficult to be patient with them (particularly when they are falling asleep in class, smacking each other, throwing things across the room, yelling in Korean at each other, and/or refusing to participate). Most of all, I'm learning a whole new aspect of what it means to depend upon the Holy Spirit moment by moment... and NOT to depend on my limited teaching experiences.

Thanks for "listening." :)